Way To Toilet

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By Bobo Khuraijam

New things we all love. The brand new shirt that we bought yesterday: how long did we take facing the mirror after we put it on? How eagerly we waited for someone’s opinion on the shirt. We love to invite friends to our freshly painted drawing room.  We wheel long rides on our new vehicles with friends. We love to flirt our hands on the fa?ade of our new smart phones, even when there is no phone call to answer or no text message to reply. And above all, we love to welcome new members to the family. A new bride in the family is the epicenter of attention. A new born baby is the joy of everyone.

A NEW BRIDAL AFFAIR: It was not so long ago that the brand new minister poured out all of his enthusiasm on getting a ministerial berth. That reminds us of scenes from popular cinemas. Scenes of drought hit village and its villagers rejoicing their hearts out when rain drops kiss their charred faces. The quintessential sitar playing heavily at the background, peacock dancing and flowers bursting to bloom in five seconds, hundreds of vocal chords in loud unison; we all have it at that spurt of the moment. We become all part of the scene. A ‘feel good’ anticipation is immediately born. Anything that followed will be as good as it gets, we thought. We start counting chicken before they are hatched. Our brand new minister launched a website for his department. His point well made. He is techno-savvy. He is smart. He knows how the world moves. He solemnly declared that his department will bring a change in the realm of teaching and learning. Suggestions and feedbacks were invited from all quarters to improve the department. A new appeal, a new hope: isn’t it? All seemed to be well. Then one find day we heard voice of resentment from students of a premier college. Their toilets are beyond redemption! Yes we know. It has been there since time immemorial without water or anything. Over the years many a contractual miracles have happened in the college campuses – Mini stadiums, swimming pools and auditoriums etc. A simple question is; do they have toilets? We know in all proper sense of the term it is better used as washrooms nowadays. We also know that the toilet the students are resenting about is no longer a toilet. It is not even Amaangshang, and far worse than Thikomshang. Would the honorable minister be kind enough to use that toilet? Like the way he and his staffs took lunch at schools in front of the camera. We assured that there will be no camera for this occasion. But we are ready to flash it in the headlines that “Minister and his team came out alive after their field trip to hell”.

THANK YOU DEMOCRACY: for college students elections are still held with great fervor. Their senior counterparts are still biting the dust after Lyndogh Commission assaulted them. It seems they neither have the weapon nor the arsenal to fire back. They have remained numb till this date, so much for their love of students’ representational politics. Though some other university students dared to challenge the wisdom of the Commission with legal battles and also have won, our athouba(S) and athoubi(s) in Canchipur are happy to be fossilized like museum artifacts. Are they pleasantly engrossed in their academic rituals? The records of the books lent out by library to these students rules out the assumption. Then, what are they busy with? Counting scholarship money!  We hope not. In spite of the uneasy calm in the university campus, the campus in the colleges is alive in a sense. It was just yesterday that we heard the jubilant “akhoina vote kare” slogans on the streets. Well, some churning is going on. We know how it feels when someone of our choice holds the victory medal. The age factor has also its part to play. To be young enough to attend the college is heavenly. On top of that to be wise enough to stand for an election is sheer bliss. We are simply worried about the agendas which you are going to hammer out as young leaders. We all in the Leipung hope that those who are elected will be wise enough to see the world beyond their general secretary/magazine secretary/ cultural secretary/ adu-ada secretary’s campus centric roll calls. You will not spend your entire source of cognitive power counting how many funds will be released during your tenure. You will not take sides without seeking the truth. You will use your naturally gifted melon sitting on your shoulder, no matter what your Ahan preach. You will try to understand what exactly a cause to be champion for is. Should we remind you that we are all trapped within the trappings of our personal and social faeces? We must all admit that the place which we claim to be rich with ‘culture’ and ‘tradition’ has zero sense of public hygiene. Name any public places. Except for a negligible few, we find the worst of the Thikomshangs. Therefore, before shouting any high sounding slogans on our roof tops, we have to get down and see how our toilets are. That is the place where we ease ourselves from the heaviest burden of all burdens. That is a place where secret of all the secrets are kept. That is the place where the very first lesson of cleanliness is learned. If we as collective souls cannot maintain the basic sanctity of that place, we are going nowhere with whatever cause we swear for. We shall remain impure Thikomshang souls forever. We are sharing this because a new slate is clean enough to be written with whatever words. You are the Tabula Rasa. Do not disappoint us because we may hate all things new.

FOOTENOTE: congratulation Mr. Administration on your warning that no one is allowed to fire any crackers of any kind during the festive session. Even a five year old kid has defied your dictum with so many bangs. Leipung Ningthou says “Eningthou pheijom thok e haibasi angangtana haibani”.

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