Connections

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By Tinky Ningombam

A new year is always associated not only with merriment but also with self- introspection. Besides a roundup of the year’s events and “Best of…” stories filling up your entire news space, everyone willingly or otherwise take a note of what has happened and what is to come ahead.

Some in this process get optimistic, while some accept fatalities. And only one thing stands universally true – that a living being is a constantly evolving experiment. With our own idiosyncrasies and prejudices if I may but everything around us will be work in progress. There is no end to growing and learning and evolving in the process.

One of the most rudimental force of existence itself is in adapting to life and accepting it as it goes. They say it is not the goal in life which is the most important but the journey. Hence an annual review of your sense of well-being is not as useless as it may seem.

I personally think that the best thing that has happened to us in the past few years is the amount of great data that we are exposed to through the internet. And the past year, we have seen and learnt a great deal of how people can self-sustain themselves by using data that is openly dedicated for people to view, absorb and take in.

The new lot of millennials are thus lucky custodians of this dangerously large amount of information online which was not possible in hey days. Hence increasing their sense of intellectual horizon and perspective to what is happening away from their near vicinity at home. The sad part is that the growing amount of smart phone internet has also widened the gap between the technologically unsavvy older generations with the new who have included this into their daily living and pretty much made it a customary lifestyle choice.

In this process, these newly adapted Social Media savvy people who are ignorant about the risks of misusing their freedom of speech or expression do not know where to stop. In the midst of showing off their “better” life or their “cool” ideology, some kids go on the offensive and use digital anonymity to target innocent bystanders by trolling or just social media hate.

The digital age has brought lifestyle changes that are very very different from the past. We see and work around various psychological ramifications of that by how kids behave and even how we behave with so much in our hands at any point of time. I for one will never be seen without browsing something. I rely on Google for my daily dose of news and I wake up with Facebook to remind me if I have missed any birthdays. It is all the more important that we should always introspect what is happening around us and how are we going to improvise our life around it. I use the word improvise as opposed to strategize as we all know how less our New Year resolutions stand a chance to be fruitful. Mine definitely lasted just half a day.

One will see as well that it become very hard to crack a joke these days because of the various forms of political and social incorrect interpretations and innuendos that it can imply. We now live in extended social lives as opposed to a personal one. Everything that we upload or write or comment is and can be viewed by many others who then can be affected and influenced by it. And this is the reality that one should also learn and teach others. That it is not okay to use free speech without knowledge. Hence in this case, it is perfectly alright to shame a troll online who doesn’t respect other people’s privacy or sentiments. Because these finer etiquettes and social skills is something that some miscreants disregard in the shroud of anonymity increasingly everyday.

A lot of us sadly, also suffer with what can only be a side effect of our constant connected self online. Leading us to give more emphasis in what we do in life and the lengths that we go to achieve them just for social acceptance. One of the gray areas of living in a highly connected world.

As though living in a close knit society like ours didn’t put pressure on people by shaming and flouting familial acceptance, the new batch of digitally savvy youths have to bear another added pressure, that of social media acceptance. So whether it is to get more Likes on your display picture or to get more birthday wishes online, some kids are taking up wrong cues and trying to get acceptance even though they have to fake a life to get them.

The sad part is that most of the parents of these millennial kids do not understand the idea or the worth of this social reputation. And that is what is going to be the problem with the disconnect. Of course, we are not saying that it is true for everyone but the current craze of celebrity teens building on millions and millions of fans online just to see what they eat online, makes it feel as though we cannot escape it.

But of course, there are plus sides to it like all things. Not only do people show their creativity and develop a sense of individuality in these kids, people have also become more open to showing off their talents online. And these platforms could have never been available to each and every one of us otherwise.

Recently I just stumbled across a news item; that of a certain Robert Waldinger, Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and his exciting project. His famous TED Conference Speech on “What makes a good life” in November 2015 talks about his study in The Harvard Study of Adult Development. This ongoing study is in his words is the “the longest study of adult life that`s ever been done.” And they have found the inference by tracking the lives of 724 men since they are teens and till their old age and/or death about the reasons of having a happy and healthier life. And the answer is not money, it’s not fame, it’s not power but it is “Good relationships”. That people who are socially – more physically and consciously connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier and healthier. And they live longer.

Let that be a thought for you this New Year. To strive not for superficial connections but good relationships. Have a great 2016.

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