Stop motivating your children by murdering their dreams

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Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam
Not starting with this yet expressed millions long ago, written thousands saying the same thing, “You are giving birth to an individual, not a continuation.” Let me be little tight on you parents today to loosen your children. This world is so busy and solidly humans consist the most of this busy trauma, people hardly have any time to talk about anybody where you evermore have increase thinking what others must be thinking. And the very true answer to this is, “No one gives a damn about you until you borrow some money from them.” If you don’t borrow any then trust me, you are not any of those attractions in the society which may give you emotional hurdles.

Just because you see some of yours friends being so successful in medical fields, don’t you dare tell your child to run after doctor’s profession because you never realize that the one you forced to be a doctor was supposed to be an entrepreneur that might be the boss of the hospital. You forced your son to stop singing just because you felt shy in-front of those friends whose children are bookworms. From the very first day your little one understands you, “Darling! You should obey me, Okay?” has always been a key word to nurture them. You have been trying to design them in the way you want and the very day you know that they are human beings and can’t be designed, you will start to emotionally blackmail them, “Daddy/Mommy have been working day and night, giving up everything just to educate you, all because we want to see you as a doctor. And now you are trying to break our hope, if you don’t listen to us then we better die.” All those Mommy and Daddy reading this article, they are a life, teach them how to survive but not to live, if you are teaching them how to live then it will certainly be from your perspective which may not be same as theirs. You should donate your love to your children not invest love thinking of something in return because we have heard this a lot, “I gave up my job just to look after you and look what you are doing to us.”

You keep thinking that the only way to motivate your children is to throw them in comparison, “Hey! Do you know that Thoiba got 95%? And you? My dreams are gone, next time you have to get more than him.” To all the parents, that will not motivate them but murder their will-powers. Why have you never ever tried saying, “You got 90% in last exam, you should get more this time,” and that’s the good push.

Stop forcing them to do what you want them to do yet force them to do what they die doing for, beat them to be strong not for doing what you don’t want, don’t teach them life yet push them to the boundless life and let them earn the learnings, let them learn from life not form your experience.

Do you remember those days where you wanted to tell your parents that you are dying for singing inside yet thrown for engineering just because you didn’t have enough courage to tell them? You knew your fear killed your dream, which was ignited by your parents. You have been living your life with the money you earn for fulfilling somebody’s dream. You had a dream and still do have which is still covered under the blanket of fear, thinking what will people say and what if you can’t make it. Unfortunately, you started applying that to your children, stopping them to do what they want because you lack trust in them for you are still in the fear of WHAT IFs.

If you don’t stop this right now, your child will grow up to earn money not happiness, not to live but to survive, not to climb but to stare. You child will again kill your grandson’s dream supporting the continuity of broken dreamers. But if you give yourself a chance to free your child and stand beside them like a friend but not in front like a boss, you will earn something that makes you stronger and happier. You need to set your children free, let them fail, cheer them to get up instead of scolding them. Be the one that your son will come with the report card containing heartbreaking marks to you, cry with you, share with you not the one where all the children are scared off and needs to learn your signature to give back the report card without informing you.

(The writer is a Motivational Orator, based in Canada. And can be reached at birkarnelzelzitthiyam3073@gmail.com; Facebook – Birkarnelzelzit – Young Thoughts; Twitter – Birkarnelzelzit, INSTAGRAM – Birkarnal, watch his WILL motivational videos by going to his YouTube channel @birkarnelzelzit thiyam)

Source: The Sangai Express

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